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| Bdsm Reference Books: Other Sources for Related Information
Domination/submission Psychology Reference (further down the page)
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The Complete Book of Knots, by Geoffrey Budworth
You don't really need to know a lot of fancy knots to do great rope bondage. It's enough to learn when and why to use square knots rather than grannies, how to tie a bowline, and a few quick hitches. All the same, once you get started playing with rope, learning a greater variety of knots can make your bondage work neater, more secure, and quicker to adjust in a pinch. This particular book is just the ticket. The classic knot reference,
The Ashley Book of Knots, by Clifford W. Ashley, is harder to find.
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Guide to Bodily Fluids, by Paul Spinrad.
Entertaining, well-researched study of bodily secretions ordinarily not discussed at the dinner table, from ear wax to scat. Safety conscious, educational, and written with a glorious sense of humor. Includes such unwanted-but-impossible-to-not-read trivia as instances of farting and nose picking in famous literature and films. Reading aloud from this book is a guaranteed method of grossing out your bottom or submissive while interspersing the worthy pursuit of learning about the controversies over female ejaculate. Makes a great gift, but you won't want to give it away.
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Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices, by Brenda Love. Hardcover version.
Even if you already know what hyphephilia is, you will learn something from this book. It is an excellent, non-judgmental reference encyclopedia with knowledgeable, quite accurate sections on many BDSM practices including cautions and safety basics. Covers topics such as bastinado, rope bondage, and negotiation, as well as many kinky non-BDSM subjects. Not thorough enough on any individual topic to serve alone as a how-to manual, but definitely the most accurate brief presentations of most BDSM topics that I have seen in such a comprehensive reference work.
Paperback version
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Gray's Anatomy: Descriptive and Surgical, by Henry Gray.
Where exactly are those kidneys the books all caution you not to hit during floggings? Why are the wrists so important to keep from binding so tightly that circulation is cut off or nerves pinched? Exactly where is that jugular vein? Learning about the placement of muscles, veins, arteries, and internal organs in the body is a useful bit of knowledge and a standard top's endeavor for anyone caring about safety in BDSM. Just having a copy of the famous Gray's Anatomy on your shelf right next to the works of the Marquis de Sade will really make your bottom gulp. For a recommended, up-to-date, but more expensive, anatomy textbook, consider
Fundamentals of Anatomy and Physiology/Applications Manual, by Frederic H. Martini, Ph.D.
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Psychology for the art of Domination and submission
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Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High
"Crucial" conversations are interpersonal exchanges at work or at home that we dread having but know we cannot avoid. How do you say what needs to be said while avoiding an argument with a boss, child, or relationship partner? Crucial Conversations offers readers a proven seven-point strategy for achieving their goals in all those emotionally, psychologically, or legally charged situations that can arise in their professional and personal lives. Based on the authors' highly popular DialogueSmart training seminars, the techniques are geared toward getting people to lower their defenses, creating mutual respect and understanding, increasing emotional safety, and encouraging freedom of expression. Among other things, readers also learn about the four main factors that characterize crucial conversations, and they get a powerful six-minute mastery technique that prepares them to work through any highimpact situation with confidence.
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Taming Your Gremlin (Revised Edition) : A Surprisingly Simple Method for Getting Out of Your Own Way
This is a completely updated edition of the 1983 classic that introduced a powerful method for gaining freedom from self-defeating behaviors and beliefs. Rick Carson, creator of the renowned Gremlin-Taming? Method, has revised the book to include fresh interactive activities, real-life vignettes we can all identify with, and new loathsome gremlins ripe for taming. Carson blends his laid-back style, Taoist wisdom, the Zen Theory of Change, and sound psychology in an easy-to-understand, unique, and practical system for banishing the nemesis within. Among the things you will learn are:
Techniques for getting a sliver of light between the natural you and the monster of your mind.
The extraordinary power of simply noticing and playing with options.
Six keys to maintaining emotional balance amid upheaval.
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Please Understand Me II: Temperament, Character, Intelligence
Like four suits in a hand of cards, we each have a long suit and a short suit in what interests us and what we do well, and fortunate indeed are those whose work matches their skills. As in the original book, Please Understand Me II begins with The Keirsey Temperament Sorter, the most used personality inventory in the world. But also included is The Keirsey Four-Types Sorter, a new short questionnaire that identifies one's basic temperament and then ranks one's second, third, and fourth choices. Share this new sorter with friends and family, and get set for a lively and fascinating discussion of personal styles.
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